Another brilliant insight

So Jakey has become extremely proud of his “big boy” status and has taken to reminding me that certain activities are reserved for big boys. This week, while he was digging a hole in the wood chips around the swing set, he told me, “Mamas no dig; only big boys.”

“So what can Mommas do?” I asked the boys.  Cody decided to join the conversation.

“CLEAN,” he said.

“Oh really?  That’s nice.  Anything else?”

“Swing on swings,” Jakey added.  Well, at least he sees that I can have fun too.

“So what do Daddies do?” I asked, curious about what gems of insight they’d toss my way.”

“Daddies sit on big chairs,” Cody declared with pride.

Brilliant.  My children are brilliant.

Cody’s Shopping Help

Anyone shopping at the Marlboro, Mass Target last Tuesday might have overheard a rather strange comment. Wheeling Cody past the lingerie section and the vast selection of bras, he shouted, “Mommy, you need to buy new boobs?” Nice. Thought I’d make it to 40 before someone asked me that.

Random Rules

Do you ever wonder who was the first wise mom who spoke the words, “No swimming for 20 minutes after eating.”?  I think it was first uttered by a pioneer woman who had just finished feeding her brood and finally had a second to sit and scarf down some cold beans, when her youngest shouted, “Ma, swimming…want to go now.” Knowing that would mean forfeiting her chance to eat and relax for a moment, she told him no.  And of course, staying true to toddler traits that stand the test of time, he responded, “Why?”  She paused for a moment running through her index of reasons: “’Because I said so’—no, already used that one 3 times this morning; ‘Because it’s too cold’—no he could care less about that and anyways it’s 95 degrees right now;  ‘Because that’s your last pair of clean trousers’—no he’ll just strip down and jump in.” Ah-ha!  Figuring he couldn’t argue with a threat to his life, she shouts to him, “No swimming for 20 minutes after eating. You’ll cramp up and drown.”  There.  With that brilliant statement, she bought generations of moms 10 minutes to relax and another 10 minutes to clean up before going for a nice cool swim.

I don’t know who said it, but I love her. And perhaps I’m beginning to channel her spirit.  This morning Cody saw his bike helmet on the porch.  He was still in his pajamas and I’d been trying to get him dressed for a half hour.  He wanted his helmet and I told him no.  (Frankly, I didn’t feel like going outside to get it).  When he asked me why, I responded, “Because you can’t wear a helmet with pajamas.” I have no idea where that came from!  Of course that didn’t end the “dialogue.” He asked why again, and this time I came up empty, so I responded, “Because mommy likes to make up random rules that benefit her and no one else.”  Since Cody isn’t quite 2 ½ years old, that must have been too many words for him to absorb, so I didn’t get a follow-up why.  Instead he looked at me and walked over to his clothes and let me dress him.  Mommy One. Cody Zero.

Wordless Wednesday-Taking Time to Smell the Flowers

Cody 2009

The 1st 30 Days

Yesterday, while the boys napped, I was thinking about how my 1^st 30 days as a stay-home mom had gone.  I started typing away, falling back into my director/MBA student speak. It’s no wonder I didn’t get too far and had to walk away after I had written:

“As I’ve learned from both my experience managing in a corporate environment and through my MBA studies, what you do in your first 30, 60 and 90 days in any new role is absolutely critical to your long-term success.  Looking back on my 1^st 30 days as a stay-home mom, I find that that principle is holding true for me in my latest transition.  Here’s what I’ve learned.”

Oh my word…I can hear Charlie Brown’s teacher in my ear. Blah.Blah.Blah.

So I’ll skip the dissertation and jump to it (before the boys decide that they really didn’t want to nap, rather they just needed to get their binky, aka baby crack, fix.)

1. It might have been helpful if I had played a sport growing up.  I don’t think dance and musical theater were good training grounds for raising two soccer/hockey/basketball/football playing boys with a penchant for wrestling.  Yup. I don’t recall any referees or umpires at my dance recitals, but I am learning fast when to blow the whistle or throw the yellow card.
2. Having a network is more important than ever.  I knew that a strong work network was important for professional development, but I’ve realized that having a social network with other moms is even more important. While a strong work network may have helped me land my next job, my new mom network has already helped Cody land safely from the giant slide while I was off wrangling Jake. (Thank you, Ana!)
3. Cooking dinner isn’t so bad when you’re not running in the door at 5:45 with two hungry toddlers and peering into the fridge wondering what you can possibly make in 15 minutes that doesn’t involve serving chicken nuggets or pasta…again.
4. Napping is a beautiful thing….every day that the boys still take a 2-hour nap (at roughly the same time) I thank God.  Not sure how long that will continue, but for now, I’ll savor every quiet moment. Who would have thought that doing dishes and laundry all by myself would be so heavenly?

Well, there’s lots more that I’ve learned. Mostly that I really don’t know much of anything and that my kids are forcing me to live in the moment.  These are both humbling and delightful.  I hope this joy remains and I continue to learn.

Wordless Wednesday

The Binky War of 2008

Mine.

Quick quiz: What do the following words all have in common?  Binky. Milk. Chair.  Mommy.  Hockeystick. Drum. Bowl. Mommy.  Dinosaur.

Before you get any notions that “Mommy” and “Dinosaur” share some kind of age-based connection, let me give you the answer.  Between 6 and 8am last Monday, they were all claimed as “mine” by Jakey Boy.   “Busy morning,” you might say.  “Typical morning,” I’d growl.

I have noticed that Lewis and Clark have nothing on Jake and Cody when it comes to claiming territory recently.  And with twins since there’s always someone to compete with, the claims begin early and continue until bedtime.  Good times.

I thought we were going to be in decent shape with this particular toddler mine field.  After all, the boys should be used to sharing things with each other since their days in the womb, right?  And of course we helped minimize struggles as much as possible by having two of just about everything.  We bought toys in the same color, same style, same character to avoid battles.  But that didn’t matter…of course Jakey wanted CODY’S blue truck, green kazoo, red hockey stick.

Yesterday afternoon as I got them both out of their cribs and picked them both up together, Cody whimpered, “No want two boys. Want my mommy.”  Not much I can do about that one.  I guess they will be learning to share whether they like it or not.  Cody may not want two boys, but I must say I love “mine.”

Shadows

Cody stood about a foot away from the house, facing the foundation and flailing his arms wildly. “Ummm…Cody, you ok?” I asked him. “Momma, look. My haddo is dancing”. Oh, of course, I should have known. His shadow was dancing. Cody and Jake discovered their shadows this week (probably because it’s about the first time they’ve seen the sun in 4 months).

And in an amazing stroke of irony, luck or just coincidence, I also discovered that I had a shadow this week. A surprisingly diminutive shadow who sometimes answers to the name of Cody when it suits him. I’ve only been home full-time for one week, and almost overnight, Cody has become attached to my hip. For the first time in his life, he now cries whenever I leave him. At first, I blamed it on the crowded child watch center at the YMCA where we started to go so I could get a short workout in. I thought I might need to cancel our membership since he just seemed so unhappy there. Three days later though, he had the same reaction when I left him with Auntie Shelly whom he adores. hmmm…..guess it’s him and another glorious phase.

Please, Lord, let this be a phase, or someone might find me standing staring at a wall with my arms flailing. Somehow I don’t think that will be as cute as Cody’s dancing shadow.

The countdown is on!

Thirteen work days and counting….So I have just a few more weeks at work, at which point I will be shaking off the chaos and craziness at Fidelity Investments, and taking on the chaos and craziness of Jake and Cody 24/7. With my company moving to about an hour away from my home, and faced with an option to take a severance package due to the relocation, I decided to give up corporate life for a while to be with my boys full-time.

I couldn’t be happier or more uncertain about what April 1st is going to feel like. Will it feel like I just downshifted, or rather will the scenery change while the pace remains the same? I am expecting a similar pace but with a more singular focus–my family.

Now having said that, this morning I was happy to have something else to focus on, and I was really happy to make the drive to Ma’s house where the boys go to daycare. Jakey woke up at about 5:15, and I thought we were off to a good start since he quieted back down after I delivered the binky back to him and he slept another 40 minutes. But from the moment I picked him up out of his crib, he WHIIIIIINNNNED and didn’t stop until 7:45 when I packed him into the minivan and turned on the Wiggles for him. He whined about his banana (he wanted Cody’s). He whined about the other banana (he didn’t want it peeled). He whined about his toast (he wanted cereal). He whined about the hockey stick he was using (he didn’t want to play hockey). He whined about the drum (omg it was on its side). Well you get the idea.

I tried to “start the day over” by bringing him upstairs and reading to him. Thought maybe a little one on one cuddle time would work. And it did for about 20 minutes. Then it was back to Cody-has-something-that-I-want-but-once-I-get-it-I-will-want-something-else syndrome.

So, I don’t think I have any romantic notions about what being a stay-home mom will be like, but I do suppose that I will still be surprised with how challenging it will be. I just have to remember that I’d rather be dealing with my own children’s whining than the whines of a 40 year old employee who doesn’t like the performance review I just gave him. Time will tell.